Watch your language... please.
- Jim Kellner Hypnotist | Speaker | Author
- Sep 15, 2014
- 3 min read
Most of us try to watch the words that we say to our friends, our loved ones, children, and even strangers. Many of us though give little thought to the words that we say to ourselves.
Do. Or do not. There is no try. – Yoda. I’ve been working with a client for several months to help her quit smoking. So far to no avail. I had some reservations about working with this client because I could tell by the language that she used it would be a challenge. I probably should have declined to work with her and would have if I’d not been compelled to help by a friend and because she has numerous heath concerns that are aggravated by the smoking.
I really want her to quit. Her husband wants her to quit, her kids want her to quit and she wants to quit but she just keeps “trying,” NOT quitting. You see, by definition “try” leaves room for failure. When asked if she’s ready to quit once and for all she just keeps saying, “I’ll try”. A simple “yes” will do :) Unfortunately many people don’t realize that the language we use can have a significant impact on us.
For those of you who think this is simply a matter of semantics consider the following – you’re standing beside your beloved on your wedding day and the minister asks your betrothed if they promise to have and to hold, to cherish and honor, to respect and be faithful to (your name here) for as long as you both shall live? Your partner responds, “I’ll try”. How confident would you feel entering into such a union?
Of course people take these vows every day and every day these vows are broken. But doesn’t it sound stronger, more committed to say, “I do” or “I will” than, “I’ll try”? Of course it does. So why not use that same strength and commitment when speaking to yourself or of your intention for change.
I think we say it so that if we fail we can always say, “well I tried”. People, it’s okay to fail. Failure is only feedback. We go through life from the moment we’re born learning what works by discovering what doesn’t work. Perhaps just lying quietly in our crib doesn’t get our diaper changed as quickly as crying does. So, we cry. We learn by failing, over and over and over again until we succeed. Remember the Chinese proverb, “fall down 7 times, get up 8.”
Another thing we say that sucks away our power is, “I can’t”.
How often are you saying, “I can’t” when a more accurate statement is, “I won’t”? I do it myself, “I can’t exercise today because I don’t have time”, “I can’t give more money to charity than I already do”, “I can’t give you a ride to the airport because I’m way too busy”. More likely I could exercise but I’d rather watch the latest episode of Homeland, I could give more to charity if I chose to make cuts in my budget, I could give you a ride to the airport but I don’t want to because I still haven’t watched that episode of Homeland. Of course telling a friend you can’t help them out because you’d rather be watching television is one of those lies we might feel the need to tell if we are to maintain relationships but won’t you at least be honest with yourself?
Finally, please consider the negative words you’re saying to yourself. Are you kind to yourself when you make a mistake or do you hurl insults at yourself? When you look in the mirror do you berate yourself or build yourself up?
Remember, words have power.
What are your thoughts on this subject? What words are you going to stop saying? I’d love to have your comments. Take Care and Be Awesome!
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