5 powerful, yet easy techniques to increase your self-esteem so that you'll expect more and get
Self-esteem
What does it take to have high self-esteem?
Is it looking a certain way?
Having lots of money?
Intelligence?
Sense of humor?
I've come to realize it only takes one thing...
Growing up I was shy, very shy. Or as my mom and grandma would say, bashful. I liked to play with my trucks and action figures all by myself, for the most part. Whenever company came over or if we went to visit someone I'd end up in a corner somewhere happily playing by myself unless I was dragged away from the comfort and security of my own little world.
I'm now on stage. A lot! For the past 25 years, I've been an actor, comedian, teacher/trainer, emcee, public speaker, and comedy hypnotist. People that know me from my stage work find it hard to believe that I can still be shy and that I was once painfully shy.
Shyness and low self-esteem don't necessarily go together but in my case they did. My first times going on stage I was terrified, I mean really scared. It may seem crazy for someone to push themself into that kind of a situation. I guess I am a glutton for punishment.
One thing I knew for certain was that I didn't want to remain painfully shy. I was missing out on so much! I wasn't living my best life. While I still may feel shy in certain situations, it's oftentimes that I just don't know what to say. Now, it's not related to my self-esteem.
I took a lot of steps along the way to higher self-esteem but it really was just this one thing that made a huge difference...
I can remember when I was younger, in high school and well into my 20s and even older, that I had a lot of ideas that were totally incorrect about self-esteem.
I truly had horrible self-esteem. I won't go into all the reasons for this as I don't think it helps to dissect and analyze the cause. As a hypnotherapist, I prefer to simply move forward from today and make changes to my behavior or ways of thinking that will lead me to the outcome that I want to achieve.
Hypnotherapy is different from psychotherapy in that way. I think that counseling and psychotherapy can be very helpful in many ways but at some point you have to stop talking about the past and reliving it, (and whining and crying about it) and simply decide that you're going to move forward.
Truly, nothing matters except today. The choices you make TODAY will lead to a better tomorrow.
Anyway, I used to believe that if I could just achieve certain goals, learn some cool stuff, look a certain way, and pretty much change my entire personality I would finally feel good about myself and have confidence and higher self-esteem.
I wish, wish, wish, that I would have discovered the secret to self-esteem way back then. Because you see, I had an entire list to complete before I would be able to love myself, to feel confident, and to have higher self-esteem.
Just a few items on the list that I would have to achieve;
Get buff or at least really good shape.
Learn to play the guitar and maybe even the piano.
Learn at least one if not several for languages.
Become really funny.
Make a lot of money.
Get some plastic surgery to make me look more 'normal'.
Become good at at least one or ideally, many sports.
Get my black belt in one or more martial arts.
Have perfect hair 😬.
Buy a cool car.
Travel the world.
Get at least one or more college degrees.
Learn a bunch of funny jokes that I could break out at any minute.
If I remember right there were more things on the list. I figured if I could complete that list above or at least most of it I could finally have self-confidence and feel worthy. Worthy of a girlfriend, a decent job, even friends.
I never did complete the goals on that list or really even get close but fortunately, I did discover the true secret to self-confidence and higher self-esteem...
Suddenly one day I noticed that certain individuals who seemed like they had a lot of self-esteem or at least expressed a lot of self-confidence didn't possess many or sometimes any of the skills, abilities, or qualities on my list of what I thought I needed to feel good about myself. Whoa, mind blown!
In fact some of these individuals who seemed to have a very high opinion of themselves often times we're greatly lacking in these areas. And I do mean greatly lacking! I was confused, cognitive dissonance big time!
Now, of course, it could be said that some of them may have had narcissistic tendencies but what I realized really mattered was regardless of the reason they still got all of the benefits of having self-esteem like - going after what they wanted and getting it.
With better self-esteem, you have more choices available to you because when you start expecting more and realizing you deserve more you have a greater chance of getting it. You also have more confidence in your ability to succeed with your goals like losing weight, quitting smoking, becoming an entrepreneur, exercising more etc.
One of the more challenging aspects of what I do as a hypnotist is to help clients understand that they really can make changes. I’ve seen people make incredible changes and even small ones. I personally changed my entire life as I started becoming more confident and used hypnosis.
I really didn't think I was worthy of anything before - a girlfriend, a decent job, even friends. I can't even express to you how worthless I felt at times.
Finally, the light bulb went off and my life changed dramatically when I started doing this one thing...
I made the decision. That's it, I simply made the decision to value myself more and to expect others to value me as well. Over time my self-esteem grew and grew. And funny enough, I still can't play guitar, I'm not rich or buff, and I don't have any hair on my head at all!
Okay, look, I understand for some of you it won't be as easy as simply making the decision. That was the culmination of a lot of other things that I did which helped to increase my self-esteem.
How can you increase your self-esteem?
Try these!
Affirmations. I know some people think that affirmations don't work because maybe they said I love myself a few times and they didn't start to love themselves. But you've got to overcome all of that past programming. Start saying it all the time! And You can even borrow my trademarked line, ‘Damn I'm Pretty!™’ I know, I know, I'm a middle-aged bald guy and I don't really think I'm pretty. But going around saying ‘Damn I'm Pretty!’ is a lot funnier than saying, ‘Damn I'm Handsome’. It'll get a chuckle from others and from yourself which helps to lock it in mentally.
Make a list of everything you're good at. I mean, everything. If you're good at cracking an egg, put it on your list. Easy to talk to? Put it on your list. I want you to come up with a list of 50 to 100 or even more things that you're good at and or/like about yourself.
Start achieving some worthwhile goals. This can be anything from moving up in your career, taking some classes, feeding the homeless, or learning a few new recipes. All of those accomplishments, large and small, will help you increase your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Stop your negative self-talk! Many of us are constantly beating ourselves up over the smallest things. I would drop something and exclaim to myself, ‘You’re so stupid!’ It may be a challenge at first but just keep at it. Correct the negative by saying something like, ‘That’s not true, accidents happen’.
Finally, simply make the decision. It really can simply be a decision that you make right here, right now.
Oops, one more thing - I'd be remiss if I didn't mention hypnotherapy for self-esteem. Hypnotherapy is one of the most powerful tools for transformation that I've ever come across. I've been studying self-help ever since I could remember. Easily as far back as Junior high I was checking out books on personal development and self-help.
hypnosis, absolutely changed my life and it's changed the life of thousands of my clients and millions of people across the globe.
Whether you work with me or another hypnotist just give it a try. I've also put together an incredible program which can transform your life, truly transform your life in just a few weeks. Literally, in a matter of weeks you could start to benefit from having higher self-esteem which would mean you'd have better relationships because you'd expect more and get more, you'd be searching for and getting better jobs or starting your own business because you felt worthy enough to do it, and perhaps most importantly you could look yourself in the mirror and say, I love myself and really mean it.
You can take a look at my self-esteem course by tapping right HERE.
